You want to slip and fall, maybe break your head, but you can't seem to stop looking at the wall. The faces and the places on the wall, they talk and breathe, and the more you see, the more you know. It's kind of like, staring at the tiled wall in the shower.
That's where I'm coming from, I've always known where I was coming from, but I never known where I was going. I've come to realize that my life is a lot like that wall.Winding and endless, like if Satan was a snake and he made a home around my neck.Coiled tight enough to make me see stars in your eyes, but loose enough to make my head pound with pain. I'm sad and I'm tired, and I have no answers, and I'm all alone.I know that I'll have to keep going, but I also know that I think I'm going to leave you behind. I'll take my heart back and leave it for someone more special - maybe my dog or my Chinese friend, Katrina.I think they'll take better care of it, and I can focus on what really matters: living a life that doesn't involve drowning.
Drowning in thoughts, drowning in tears, drowning in possibilities. I think I can swim.being sad takes gutsit takes packs of cigarettes and sensory overloadit takes traffic jams and dry crackersit takes re-learning guitar chords your fingers can't wrap aroundit takes longing for rainand waiting for car accident estimatesit takes knowing you have a cemetery plot waiting for youit takes reversed tarot cards and fast-foodpillows and advilbeing sad takes gutsmakes the guts heavemakes them seethemakes them a crystallized core of melted rockmakes them soft like a jellyfish writhing out of waterbut i surrender nowi give birth to it nowi run away from it nowi embrace it nowi discard it nowi let it come back nowbeing sad takes guts Your bitter words make mewant to burn my tongue with tar. Bleeding yellow and green earth through white knuckles.It won't be these cigarettes that kill me- but my family's words. A gold that once littered our bedroom floorbetween the articles of clothing.With your breath heavy from whiskeyyou were never good after drinking a bottle. I keep praying for rain to quench the soilbut there's only deathly heat. No one wants to listen to a girl crying that her flowers are dead from the doing of her own hands. What I want for the world is unselfish, But I'm not trying to please anyone. K • Keep a strict diet, never break it, always hide it from those who would disapprove, so I learned to suffered in silence.All I know is that No matter what I do, No matter how far I go, Its never enough for you. I • Internally a growl would emit, I reveled in the power I would get from it. Like the mass jiggling, clingling to this withering carcass. carve her, choke her, starve her till she lost the will to shout.Shout for help, shout for freedom, shout for love in this life.Useless, everybody knows only fit people have that right.