A year into grad school I found a wonderful place to live. "You looked desperate and that made the landlord uncomfortable," she said. A man I know who is recently divorced is very anxious to "get back in the game" of dating.It was a loft in downtown San Francisco's So Ma district. The owner was interviewing prospective renters and I was one of them. He's a nice guy, good-looking but he's having trouble getting second and, sometimes even first, dates.
She watched as another woman discussed the price, the amenities, and parking in a cool and calm manner. As one female told him, "Look, I'm going to be blunt with you.Two days later we found out the loft had been given to another renter. Your talk of houses and babies is way too much for me. I'm not ready for a serious commitment."While you may not even know you come across as a desperate dater, it shows in how you act and in what you say.Seriously, nothing will send a woman or a man running away faster than a desperate, needy date.You can avoid this by following a few simple rules of dating. After a break-up or divorce, dating should not be your only goal in life.If you have no other interests, friends, or activities that you enjoy, you send out the message that you really have no life outside of dating this person.
No one, no matter what the poets say, wants to be your "everything/"Take it slowly.Most, say almost all, people want a relationship to progress naturally and not listen to you weave tales about your future as a couple.You need to get to know each other before even thinking of introducing anyone to your family.Activities like "meeting the parents" after two dates is scary.Don't micromanage your entire life and existence around one person.Respect for other people and things in your life should never be given short shrift simply because you need to be available for that "one special person." That "one special person" you're trying to impress will lose all respect for you and bail out of the game as soon as possible.