Yes, when I’ve tried to connect soul to soul — heart to heart — with a partner who’s been super funny, I’ve often found that I’m greeted by a gigantic, unmovable whoopee cushion wall.
Basically, friggin’ funny is only the tiniest tip of a person.
He believed these pleasure-bringing qualities were good for stirring up passion, which humans need to be our fullest selves!
But Aristotle recognized “superficial lures” and material goods were simply what he called “means to the ends” of happiness, not “the final ends,” which is always to grow into your most esteemed self.
As Aristotle said: “Men imagine the causes of happiness lie in external goods. Potential Right comes along, you must ask yourself if this person will lead you to Life Plan Right or Life Plan Wrong.
Relationships of pleasure Partners who are about sex, drugs and rock ‘n’ roll.
You share soulless, passionate sex and playful banter — but they’re about the body or ego.
They never soul-nurture you with insight and growth, so they never bring real-deal happiness. Relationships of utility Partners you spend time with in hopes of garnering status, power, money and beauty like the rich guy with a trophy girl.Again, this is about body or ego and doesn’t bring true joy. Relationships of shared virtue Partners who challenge and inspire you to grow into your highest potential and nurture your soul.A good example is when Jack Nicholson’s character in “As Good As It Gets” says, “You make me want to be a better man.” When you prioritize seeking a partner who supports you becoming your best self — instead of crushing on “superficial lures”(hotness, funniness, smartness, success, etc.) — you wind up with a soul mate/a Prince Charming/a definite keeper!With this in mind, if you want to be happy in love, you must take time to see past your partner’s Unfortunately, as I’d discovered with my ex, those fumes of chemistry can sometimes dizzy a gal into making stupid love choices.That’s why it’s important to remember: Hot, steamy chemistry eventually fades — and what’s always left beneath is a person’s true soul. Another superficially alluring quality I’ve been suckered in by is humor. I once had a boyfriend who teased me that the secret to getting me into bed was to crack five good jokes in a night. Unfortunately, funniness is a mere decorative quality — sometimes developed to avoid talking about real-life issues.Yes, if you want to be happy, you must seek a good-hearted, ethical soul who brings you great growth — not simply a hottie who brings great grope. Which is why in the past, after a few months of dating a friggin’ funny guy, I’ve witnessed all that fabulous ha-ha-ha laughter often gives way to tears when the guy’s true character — true soul — shows up as one that avoids honest communication, warm empathy and the desire for growth.